Nothing makes Becks happier than a Saturday night on San Pedro's Historic Red Line Train. Kids free, $1 for Adults, and a fountain show to rival the Bellagio. Both the kids look slightly off in these pictures. Must have been a rough day.

On Thanksgiving I was thankful for:

Great food by Anne


Darrell eating chips and salsa


A cute sleeping baby


Him


Optimus Prime


and Uncle Chase playing with the kids



Hope you all had a good one!

Dear Beckham

This needs to be documented.
Today you went poop in the potty.
For the first time.
I am THRILLED.
It took some time, and we both shed some tears in the process.
We are going to go get you a surprise from Target.
I know you will accomplish a great many things, and I will always be proud of you.
But it needs to be noted that today is one of those times I am extremely proud!
It may seem trivial in the future, but it's the little steps that get us to the big ones.
Poop in the potty one day, college graduation the next.
I love you my little man( who now wears Buz LightYear undies).
Way to go!
Love,
Mom

I got the snots from the kids, and I think I'm on the up swing today. It could be that I am heavily medicated on Tylenol Cold. We have been laying low, and making messes around the house. These are some scenes that made me smile yesterday:

For Now

When I got home from my mission, it was crazy.
Crazy all around.
I didn't know what to do with myself, but I tried really hard to pretend like I did.
I saved a class or 2 for myself at BYU so I would have something to jump into.
I had no money, was a few pounds heavier then when I had left, and didn't have a place that felt like home.
I headed back up to Provo and was blessed to find a place to live with some old roommates that had an opening.
I finished up school and took a job in Salt Lake.
I made a new friend.
I started seeing an old boyfriend that I swore I wouldn't see anymore.
I had a new apt. and new roommates and was trying to feel at home in a life that did not feel like home at all. It was crazy. My sister called during this time and was pregnant.
I wanted to get away from this boy that was confusing me.
So, I packed up my truck and drove to Medford Oregon in the middle of the night and moved in with my sister and her family. I helped watch Jaden and Kyla while she was on bed rest.
I got a job at 24 hour fitness. I hate sales by the way. I tried out the singles ward.
I tried to make it feel like home. I still felt crazy.
I had a broken heart from this silly boy, and I still didn't feel like I had a place that felt like home.
After a few months I was talking to one of my mission companions.
She said some of the boys bought a house in Salt Lake and it had a little appartment on the back and she needed a roommate. Hmmmm. What would I do in Salt Lake? The inner granola girl in me came out and I decided to go to massage therapy school. SO not me. But I went with it. Got a loan, signed up for classes. I started in a few weeks.
So, I loaded up my truck and moved to Salt Lake. It was a new adventure. It kind of felt a little close to home.
I was with great people from my mission that I loved. I still felt a little crazy. This same girl that got me to move to Salt Lake introduced me to a boy. We liked each other and things were good. Surprisingly enough, I loved massage therapy school. It was full time and on the weekends and it was a challenge, but somehow it fit.
After 9 months of Salt Lake, Mission friends, falling in love, getting engaged, and finishing school, it was time for another adventure.
On our last day of school, we let the inner hippies out all the way. We had an experience that was cheesy and lovely and life changing. We were all given a small piece of paper with a word or saying on it. We were then to spread out in the room standing but not touching anyone. With the lights low, and our eyes closed, we waited. A few people at a time roamed the room whispering the word or saying they recieved in our ears. We took turns.
The whole reason for me telling this story is to get to this one moment. The words whispered in my ear were just what I needed. Right then.
They were:
"Right now, you are enough."
I cried in the dark with my hippie massage friends whom I had grown to love.
I went on to move to California, get a job, get married, live with the in-laws etc. Things still felt a bit crazy. But I was on my way to feeling like I was home.
I was talking to my mom this morning and was remarking on how 2009 will go down as one of the most difficult years for me thus far. It has been overwhelming emotionally and physically, spiritually and mentally.
But after I got off the phone with my mom, I remembered those words.
"Right now, you are enough."
I love those words.
Despite all the crazy, I am in a place that feels like home. It is home. And hopefully, right now, I am enough.

I got up thinking I'd have the car this morning, but then Nate took my joy away.
He needs it to go downtown, and as it happens, during nap time.
So, I accept defeat and we will have a day at home in jammies, most likely in front of the T.V.
It's probably for the best since both kids are snot factories this morning, and Becks has a nice little weezey cough to go with it. The kid woke up dry though. We are on day 5. Poop is not our friend so far. Otherwise, the kid is a champ.
I had my first experience in Target yesterday running full speed from the back corner of the store to the bathrooms in the front corner when Becks told me he had to go potty.
He's new at this right? I don't know how long his holding capacity is.
And while I was sprinting through the store trying to avoid smashing others under our big red cart, I told him to hold it, and he did. He pinched it. Is that supposed to work? It did.
And then after we left Target, he told me in the parking lot of the bank. So, I let him pee in the parking lot. Is that O.K?
I'm not going to drag both babies into a store. I felt fine about it. I don't think anyone else saw, but if they did, they'd think I was one of those moms.
And I'd still be O.K with it.

Here's to today, and staying home, and snot, and jammies, and fingers crossed poop in the potty and not in the undies.

Deep Breath

I thought I'd better clear the air of my drama and share somethings are are making me smile as I look forward to Christmas. Thanks for the encouraging words. I was reminded that trials help us get from point A to point B, and to learn something on the way. Things really are fine though, just a little more that I could handle for a few days. Pregnancy hormones NEVER help a situation either, do they?

So, Christmas huh? I was browsing Design Mom and saw these great little creatures and am thinking I shall get myself some to pass along.


I'm definatly going to grab a few calendars to gift as well.

And since I'm a grown up and all, I think it's time I have my own Nativity scene. This is the one I want:

Yesterday Nate needed the car, so I was home, or stroller bound for the day. I took the kids up the big hill to the park in the morning and we played. At lunch time, we walked over to Mc D's and got some food. Then I though I'd walk around Ross to see if there were any killer Christmas deals. When we got to Ross and I started pushing the ridiculously heavy stroller on the shiny linoleum floors, I realized I hate that stroller. It is impossible to push on any smooth interior floor. It was great when the kids were small and well within the acceptable safe weight range for the stroller, but they are far passed that now, and I'm not going to buy another $600 double stroller. We left after 5 min of me looking like a drunk crack mom pushing her kids repeatedly into clothes racks. I cursed under my breath more then once. We made it down the long hill and back home. I got the kids down and then I felt like crap. I felt stuck.
You know the feeling when there are some pretty big concerns and responsibilities you have hanging over your head and you feel crushed by the pressure, and feel like there is so much to do, but it's either out of your control, or you don't know where to start. So, I wasted time on the computer. It brought no joy. And I felt doubly stuck because I was car-less for the rest of the day. From the time the kids were up from nap till the time I put them to bed was what seemed like the longest day of my life. I wanted someone to complain to, someone to fix the way I felt. I didn't pray then, no, I am to stubborn for that. I was mad and grouchy at the kids instead.
A few hours into the evening, Nate called with some completely frustrating news that just pushed me over the edge. Of course he wasn't there to let me complain to, he was in class. I didn't feel like there was anybody that could take this feeling away. So, I sat on the front steps and cried for a bit. Then I went inside and was mad and grouchy at the kids till bed time. I didn't even read or sing with them. I said the worlds shortest and heartless prayer with them, put them in bed and left. Then I took 2 benadryl. I figured I could sleep it off. Good coping method, I know.
This morning, I had a benadryl hang over. I didn't feel better, just another day with the same things crushing my chest. I prayed in the shower this morning. I asked for forgiveness for grouching at the kids the night before. I didn't know what else to pray for. I still don't. We have had a nice day though. I dropped Nate off this morning, so I was able to get out and about. That makes things easier I think. Takes my mind off things.
I secretly wish that I could get out of what I said I would do. I said yes. That's what we do. It wasn't him that asked, it was Him, right? We say yes to that. It is not going away anytime soon. I have to figure out how to handle it.
As for the other stuff, we are going to look at cars in the next few days, and pray the money will some how find it's way into the checking account when the time comes. Barf.
Don't you just wish you had parents who could take care of you sometimes when you don't want to deal with life.
At least there is this:

and this:

Plans

For Christmas this year, we will be forming as this little group,

in the great state of New Mexico at my parent's home.

I'm hoping I will be able to do some of this,

and that my coat will fit over my baby bump. Come to think of it, I may have been pregnant with Marley when this was taken.

Speaking of plans, I'd like to get started on gift getting. Any ideas for family gifts, or great gift sites to order from?

Speaking of Cougars

Nate called this morning and told me to check out this video of BYU Women's Soccer V.S New Mexico. Out of Control. They Still won.

Nate got the kids and I up at 5:45 this morning so we could take him to the airport. Having only one car is fun. I'm not complaining yet, it's only been 1 day without a car, and I get one today and tomorrow since Nate is out of town.
Clark is sending Nate to P-Town to recruit some Cougars to come to California and work. Cougars make the world a better place, right? Enter to learn, go forth to serve, or something like that.


He'll hold an info session for Construction Management majors and then conduct some interviews. Perks are a lunch with his brother Chase and of course, the Cafe Rio. Both on Clark's dime. Not to shabby. I told him I am jealous of his trip.
I have such wonderful memories of Provo in the Fall. Walking up to campus early mornings and being so awe struck at the beauty all around me. I felt like I could reach out and touch the mountains.


I would say a silent prayer of Thanks for allowing me to be in such a beautiful place. I told Nate he should eat at the Cougar eat and get a Salad Wrap and some chocolate milk. He was sure that wasn't going to happen. I would definitely make it happen.
If it's even there.
I'm sure things have changed since back in my day.
What a blessing that time in my life was.
Last night at the activity for the Young Men and Young Women, we were shown a film that was made to help high school kids prepare for college. The words of the Lord and his prophets were quoted on the importance of getting an education. The Glory of God is Intelligence D&C 93:36.
We are lucky Nate is able to get his Masters right now. His company is paying for it.
I miss school. Not test taking and paper writing, but learning. Listening and absorbing. My brain is mush now days. It feels horrible. Sometimes I think I should work part time so I would be forced to keep my skills sharp. My kids keep me on my toes, and push me to the edge, but it's different.
It's been bad lately since the T.V has been on a lot. It is survival in first trimester of pregnancy.
I need a good book to read. I think a trip to the library is on the list for today.

P.S
Thanks for all the well wishing and concern after our adventure. I drove on the freeway this morning coming back from the airport and it wasn't as traumatic as I imagined.

Woo Woo!

Today Beckham got to sit in a Woo Woo! It's what he call's an ambulance. He was in Heaven.
The circumstances weren't ideal though. It wasn't a field trip.
I know Heavenly Father sent the Woo Woo to save us.
This morning we were heading to The Gundo to meet some friends at the park.
The 405 N was very busy, and while accelerating to get over into the car pool lane, my car fell apart. Literally.
I started praying right away. There were cars coming up fast behind me and the car was toast. No moving for me.
First, Hazards on, calling 911 while looking in the rear view mirror thinking this is not going to end well. Here it comes.
Side swiped on the right by a car trying to swerve. Were fine, the side mirror is not. I start honking over and over.
Trying to warn people who are coming up fast behind me. 80 fast. 911 operator is sending CHP.
Car pulls up next to me to tell me my car is on fire. Panic. Jump out and rip the babies out of the car seats.
Out of the car with two babies in the Left Lane of a California Freeway next to a car on fire. Awesome.
I looked up and there was the Woo Woo. Was passing by and came to save us. Stopped behind us. Blocked the cars.
Took my babies and I and put us safe in the back. Beckham had a big smile and wide eyes. I was crying and shaking.
They got an extinguisher and went to work on the car. Fire Department came to help.
Called Nate and he was on his way. Watching the 6 lanes of traffic pile up behind me through the open Woo Woo doors.
They emptied out my car for me, and let Beckham explore! Such good men. I felt safe. CHP came. Quite the scene.
Nate came and we got in the car and followed the tow truck as he took away the very broken car.
We got home safe. Talked to family and they let us know of all the prayers that were sent our way. I felt every one.
This was scary. Very scary. I am thankful that we are o.k. I am thankful that we did not cause others around us to get hurt.
We are blessed. The Subaru is not.
Thank you for the brief time we spent together Subaru, although you were trouble from the start.
I will not miss you nor will I ever be driving one of your kind again.

Dapper

Beckham has taken pretty well to his new "eyes." The best is when he is watching T.V and he slouches down low so he can look under his lenses, or he tucks his chin and looks over them. It will take time. I think they go well with the little man.



Yes, Beckham is holding a doll, and Nate is cringing.

Bring it on

Ready for the weekend? So is Marley. She had her game face on this morning. It's going to be a good one. Enjoy!

The first born turns 3

Today Beckham turns 3. Well, actually it will be tonight. Beckham came so fast into this world that the nurses were telling me to wait so that the Doctor could get there. Like Beckham was going to wait for the Doctor. He doesn't wait for anything. Really. I swore that Beckham was the hardest infant/baby/toddler, and then I had my baby girl and think otherwise.
Beckham never stops moving. Unless he is watching a show, then you can't get him to move. He is so social and is always asking for people to come to his house. Even the mail man. And when you are at his house he will beg you to stay at his house. He loves his family and is always going through the names "Momma, Daddy,Me, Baby, and Baby 2." Yes, Marley is still referred to as Baby and baby in momma's tummy is baby 2.
Beckham loves to be close to his mom and dad and loves kisses and hugs. His favorite thing for the moment is his "new bumble bee." Yes, Nate got him hooked on Transformers.
He is learning so much everyday and is speaking in sentences and repeating everything which means we have to be so careful about what we say around him.
The best of all is that Beckham is our friend. He always wants mom or dad to "come play with me."

The Shark ate your bink

Becks will be 3 this Saturday. Marley will be 18 months on Nov. 22. Baby Arnold 3.0 will be born begining of May 2010. My kids love binks. Beckham has only been allowed to sleep with a bink, or 2 or 3 or 4 since his second birthday. He has to give it up before leaving his bed. Marley is a bink fan also. My kids have oral fixations apparently. Binks make the world a better place.
We have wanted to get Becks off the bink for awhile now but realized it was not going to happen while Marley was on the bink because they sleep in the same bed, and a 2, almost 3 year old could not handle the temptation of having a bink lying in bed next to him, and not yank it out of his sister's mouth.
My 3 year old is not going to sleep with a bink though.
That's when I read Lizzie's blog and knew the time was now. I asked her how she did it and thought I'd give it a go.
So, a few days ago, the kids woke up from a nap and we found out that the shark had eaten the ends off all the binks.

Becks was really thoughtful for a moment, and then he picked up the shark and started hitting it while yelling "no, no shark. Bad shark." Marley was confused. So, we are in the process of reminding them that the shark ate their binks when they ask for them.
The hard part about this is that there has been 20-30 min. of screaming at night, pounding on the door, drama. It kills me. I feel like I've got a new baby all over again. And the 2 hour nap we all take at 1:00 every afternoon has been a nightmare. So, they are doing really well not asking for them, but on the flip side, we are essentially having to sleep train them all over again so they can learn to be soothed and fall asleep without the bink.
It was a life saver for us with new babies, but I am seriously debating weather I'm even going to introduce it to number 3.

Tis the season

Everyone does this in October, right?


I've been on the internet all morning trying to plan a snowy Christmas Vacation for my side of the family. It may not work out because of coordinating time off and funds, but I sure am trying. I made hot chocolate on the stove this morning before I started sweating for the day. I can pretend its cooling down. I'm sure there of those of you who may not be enjoying your cold weather and snow, and may find me ungrateful for my situation. Well, so be it.

Jocks can wear glasses

So, about 3 weeks ago, Beckham looked up at me and I saw this:

He is making a ridiculously cute fish face in this picture, but it's actually the crazy left eye I'm referring to.
I thought to myself, "that can't be good" and started making some phone calls. After talking to my Dad, and realizing it was an all at once now all the time kind of thing, I emailed the pediatrician and told him of the problem and of my concerns. He promptly responded and set me up with an opthamologist. He said it sounded like Esotropia. Which essentially means one or both of the eyes crossing inward. I then called Nate's mom, Anne and talked to her about what was going on since I knew she had been there. Nate had a few eye surgeries, patching and glasses when he was Beckham's age.
We had to wait a little over a week to get into the Doctor and in the mean time, crazy eye was getting worse. Nate and I found it hard to look at him without cringing a bit. One night when the neighbor girl came over to play she said, " Jeanine, what's wrong with Beckham's eye, he looks loco?" I totally agreed.
We had a scare one night after talking to my sister about his eye, she called her friend who is an eye doctor and he said it could be much worse, like and aneurysm or stroke. Yes, I freaked out and went into my room and cried for a second before pulling it together and figuring out if I needed to take him to the ER. After going through some tests with lights and such in Beckham's eye, and relaying the results, and sending a picture of his crazy eye to my Dad, it was decided that it wasn't an emergency and that he could wait till his appointment. I have said this before, but I am so grateful to have a Doctor in the family. What a blessing!
So, this morning, Nate took the a.m off of work, and Anne came up to watch the little girl for us so we could take our little guy to the Doctor. Not just a Doctor, but what ended up being 4 different Doctors spanning 4 hours. Lots of bribery and fruit snacks and story telling took place to keep this kid calm and looking in the machines and sitting still. It wasn't perfect, but we got the job done, and turns out the first step is glasses. He is so far-sided and has been compensating very well thus far, but his left eye just got tired and gave in to the loco.
We picked out a great pair of frames and I have to say he looked pretty cute. Reminded me of this:


Yeah, that's the Jerry Maguire kid.

The trick will be getting him to keep them on his face. The Doctor said kids who are this far-sided at this young of an age will most likely be glasses-for-life kind of people. Nate feels bad, like he passed on the bum eye gene, which he did. He said kids with glasses get made fun of more, and it's a bit harder for them. He can still be a line-man right? I'm hoping my little smarty pants nerdy boy has all the same chances the non-4 eyed kids have. At least he will be able to see. His Dad turned out pretty good, even if he is a bit nerdy. He still got me to marry him.

We are hoping this corrects the problem, but will go back in 2 months to evaluate his progress, and if needs be, we will have to patch and after that surgery. I was hoping for patch today so I didn't have to come up with a halloween costume. Ready made pirate.
We will pick up the glasses in a week or so and I'll post a picture.
I feel relieved that crazy eye will be leaving us soon, and that it was something that was fixable, and covered by insurance.

Pumpkins, goats, and such

Marley Anne

I tried hard to get a picture of Marley stacking and playing with the magnets on our dishwasher. She does this several times a day and concentrates so hard on fitting as many magnets in her hand as possible. She puts them on the dishwasher, takes them off, puts them in something, takes them out. I love getting glimpses into her personality by watching her play and seeing what interests her.